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Father Len shares his favorite method for the difficult and necessary job of curing shame.

Highlights, Ideas, and Wisdom

• Shame can control you and make your life and the lives of those around you miserable.
• Shame is that voice inside your head that constantly tells you that you are worthless.
• Self-esteem programs are not effective for curing shame.
• You have to learn how to love yourself in order to cure shame.
• The practice of self-compassion is the antidote to shame.
• Father Len introduces his version of the St. Ignatius Daily Examen that he uses and recommends to cultivate self-compassion and conquer shame.
• People who are controlled by shame are usually less compassionate.
• People who are able to change the shaming voices in their heads are more likely to develop grit and determination and overcome failures.
• Father Len demonstrates how he used the St. Ignatius Daily Examen to avoid shame and produce self-compassion and personal growth after being a “jerk” to a homeless man and his dog.
• Father Len tells the story of Oprah Winfrey using a daily gratitude journal to help overcome the shame of being raped, having a child out of wedlock and to learn that it’s the simple things in life, not her money, that bring her joy.
• “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by Maya Angelou
• “What I Know for Sure” by Oprah Winfrey
• You can pray as much as you want, but it will be hard to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit if the loud voices of shame are playing in your head.
• Shame is connected with low grade physical pain.
• If you are controlled by shame, every failure reminds you what a piece of trash you are.
• If you are controlled by self-compassion, every failure says I’m going to get better and better.